SUBJECT:  REVISED RETIREMENT POLICY


As a result of the reduction in moneys allocated for retirement purposes, we
have decided to reduce the number of personnel near retirement age.

Under our new plan, older employees will be allowed to go on early retirment,
thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future
plans.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of this fiscal
year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. The program will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged Personnel Early).

Employees who are RAPED will be given the opportunity to work at other jobs
within the company. While they are being RAPED, they can request a review of
their employment records before actual retirement occurs. This phase of the
program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).

All employees who are being RAPED and/or SCREWED may also apply for a trial
service, called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authorities Following Termination). The
new retirement policy dictates that employees may only be RAPED once and
SCREWED twice, but may get SHAFTed as often as the company deems appropriate.

If employees meet the above requirements, they will be entitled to get HERPES
(Half Earnings of Retired Persons Employment Service). HERPES is considered a
bonus plan as the employee can no longer be RAPED or SCREWed by the company.

Sign Up For Additional Training

It is now and has always been the policy of this company to ensure our
employees are being well trained through our Special High Intensity Training
(SHIT). We are proud that our company has given our employees more SHIT than
any other company in this area. If any employee feels he or she does not
receive SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Our managers and
supervisors have been trained to insure that you will get all the SHIT you can
stand.

Thank You........